It’s been raining and icky the last few days.  Which means like 99% of people here can’t drive… The song that comes to life, at least part of a verse, is “Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman [I hate all of the people who can’t drive their cars. Bitch you better get outta the way Before I start falling apart.]  I hate it.  I about have a stroke every time the weather even shows a TINY bit of being icky.

Second point, I got a tattoo.  It’s on my right calf, and it says “Life is Beautiful”.  There is a lotus flower at the end of the sentence too.  Here are the lyrics to the song that the ink is based on:

“Life Is Beautiful”

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

It’s a different kind of song, but it’s very good.

So moving day is coming up.  We are supposed to be out of our apartment on the 30th of June at noon.  A lot of our stuff I have packed so the apartment looks kind of empty… it’s weird.  We have been here at this apartment for two years.  But it is time to move on.. Time to be closer to both of our families that is for sure.  I will let this be all for now.

The reason for this blog is mainly just to release some thoughts on the subject. It occurs to me that everyone needs help. And even though sometimes contributions aren’t a lot in worth, it definitely gives you a boost when you need it. I know, I am in the same boat paying off loans, a wedding, etc.

What surprises me the most though, is (even though myself and an elderly woman were holding up traffic to donate) many of the people that look like they could be millionaires driving their expensive cars, did NOT seem to care enough to help out. They most certainly can afford to give something.

Another example of this is I know someone who is being sued. And I know for a fact that the person suing her, does not need any more money (he’s a multimillionaire….). And that’s what I don’t get in the world. Why do the people with the most money think that they need more and more? I mean sure, I would like to be richer, but if that doesn’t happen, I am okay with that. I have everything in my life that I need. So far I have concluded that these hot shots with the money must be lacking something in their lives: love, good friends, who knows what. ****By the way, I know that there ARE richer people out there who DO donate to charities and what not, and I do thank them for being generous, because I know they do care about things like this****

Well, I think I will let everyone sit with that for a while. Again, this is all MY opinion, so don’t spam me with hate mail please

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WARNING: What you’re about to read is based on hundreds of interviews,
surveys, books, and statistics I’ve assembled over the last few years. This
blog will piss a lot of you off. Why? Because a lot of you think you know
what love is. Well folks, I’m here to challenge that assumption. So get
your hate mail ready! And make sure you read everything! Enjoy!

FUN FACT: Most women (even the most beautiful)
are not satisfied with the way they look. Many guys
(even the drop dead ugly ones) think they’re God’s
gift to women.

TO THE LADIES:
PLEASE stop posting pictures that look nothing like you. Take off the big
sunglasses. Stop trying to be emo. Stop changing your hair and smiling
crooked just to hide your imperfections. If you want to post a picture that
looks NOTHING like yourself, then at least post one picture that DOES
look like you. (Preferably a picture of yourself RIGHT AFTER YOU
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!)

I know you’ll probably get less comments, but hey! At least you’ll know
who your real friends are. =)

Seriously though, I know that underneath it all, you just want to be loved and
liked (and envied), but don’t sacrifice who you REALLY are just for attention.

* * *

DRESS RESPECTABLY:
If you decide to wear clothes showing off half your tits, and skirts showing
99 percent of your thighs, then for goodness sake, do NOT get mad when
guys approach you for the purpose of JUST sex.

When us guys see you dressing skimpy, we do NOT think to ourselves:
“Hey. Check out that lovely young lady. She’s exactly the kind of woman
I want to marry and take home to my mother.”

NO. When guys see you dressed like that,
we all ask each other the magic question:
“Would you hit that?”

MY ADVICE: “If it’s not on the menu, DON’T ADVERTISE IT.”

If you’d like to be treated with respect, then dress respectfully.
It’s not rocket science.

* * *

TO THE FELLAS:
You’re not gangsta. I hate to break it to you, but REAL gangstas don’t
have myspace. Stop puckering your lips for the camera to look sexy.
Stop dogging the camera like you’re all hard.
That’s not what REAL MEN do.

REAL MEN GIVE RESPECT TO EARN RESPECT.
REAL MEN treat women as God’s creations. NOT as sex objects.
REAL MEN stick up for those who can’t stick up for themselves.
REAL MEN don’t get into fights just ‘cus someone dogged them.
REAL MEN don’t get into fights ‘cus of stupid rumors.
REAL MEN fight to protect their wives and children.
REAL MEN fight injustice.
REAL MEN fight racism!

* * *

So to all the MEN and WOMEN reading this:
Please, be yourselves.
Be the REAL you. Stop trying to build up this “illusion” of what you wish
people saw you as. If you constantly pretend to be something you’re not,
you’ll never meet REAL friends. You’ll never marry a person who loves
you for the REAL you.

* * *

FUN FACT: The smartest people in the world are MEN!
The stupidest people in the world are ALSO men!
Women tend to be more balanced when it comes
to intelligence and skills.

WHY?
Because the human brain is divided into two hemispheres (the left
hemisphere and the right hemisphere), AND while women use both
hemispheres, men tend to use ONE side more than the other.

This would explain why
WOMEN ARE BETTER AT MULTI-TASKING.
I cannot count the number of times I’ve seen a woman talking on her
cell phone, doing her makeup, and changing a CD…
ALL WHILE DRIVING HER CAR!

MEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, THINK IN A BOX.
If you’re telling him to do something while he’s watching football
(or playing Halo), he won’t remember what the hell you told him.
This MIGHT seem like a bad thing, BUT being able to think
about ONE thing at a time makes him a DEEPER thinker.
Ever wonder why most philosophers are MEN?

* * *

OUR DIFFERENCES BRING
BALANCE TO EACH OTHER:

MEN are usually laid back.
This helps a woman loosen up when she’s stressing out.

Women are usually more organized.
This helps men when they’re procrastinating too much.
(Ladies, you can call yourselves procrastinators all you want,
BUT you can never out-procrastinate a guy. TRUST ME.)

MEN are usually more calm when something BAD happens.
This is good for women because they tend to panic more easily.

MEN can sometimes be very insensitive.
WOMEN are usually more compassionate and caring.
Don’t believe me?

Let a random man hold a baby,
and the baby will probably start crying.
Let a random woman hold a baby,
and the baby will probably start laughing and smiling.

Most women want a man to win/earn their heart.
Men like to compete and WIN.

MEN are stronger physically.
WOMEN are stronger verbally.

So, to all the men reading this:
USE your strength to protect women and raise children.
Don’t use your strength to abuse and take advantage of them.

As for the women?
USE your words to build up and encourage men and children.
Don’t use your words to gossip and nag about everything.

God has created BOTH men and women with unique traits. As we live with
one another, we must learn how to find BALANCE in our strengths and
weaknesses. We must learn how to work together and LOVE one another.

ADVICE FOR MEN:
Women LOVE affection. So learn to show your appreciation with gifts
and well-planned dates! BE CREATIVE. Roses, candy, and stuffed
animals WILL get old after a while. When a woman complains to you,
it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants you to give her advice.
Sometimes she just wants you to SHUT UP and LISTEN!

ADVICE FOR WOMEN:
Men WANT respect. Sometimes all a guy really wants to hear is:
“I believe in you” or “I know you can do it.”
Learn to show your appreciation for the little things he does.
Sometimes he REALLY does try to be considerate, but you
just don’t notice.

ADVICE FOR BOTH:
Respect the little differences. And be sure to RESPECT THE SPACE!
Sometimes we all need some time to just BREATHE. Men, let your woman
go to Forever 21 with her girlfriends. Let her watch Oprah without constantly
repeating how “gay” the show is. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE:
PLEASE… don’t talk back when she’s on her P-E-R-I-O-D.

Because if you do… May God have mercy on your soul.

AND ladies? Let your man play some Halo 2! Let him watch the Lakers!
Let him fart in his hand and cover it over his homie’s face! (Because ladies,
i know some of you do the SAME exact thing when guys aren’t around. ;P)

* * *

Temptation 1: ROMANTIC COMEDIES
Don’t get me wrong! I LOVE movies like “A Walk to Remember,”
“The Notebook,” “Love Actually,” “The Little Mermaid,” and
“Serendipity,” BUT if you think great LOVE STORIES can be
found this easily… you’re sadly mistaken.

Temptation 2: LOVE SONGS
Do any of these songs look familiar? =)

Believe it or not, movies and music can really influence you.

FOR EXAMPLE:
A good horror movie will keep you up all night.
Listening to Lil’ Jon will make you want to sock someone’s face.

Likewise, romantic comedies can make you THINK you’re in love when
you’re really not. They can make you BELIEVE “everyone’s falling in love
EXCEPT you.” As for love songs, they will either keep you depressed (if
you just broke up with someone), or tempt you into hooking up with
some random guy/girl who’s nowhere NEAR ready for a relationship.

Temptation 3: PORNOGRAPHY
Hey fellas. I know most of you think “there’s nothin’ wrong with a little
Jenna Jameson after a hard days work”, but… I disagree.

When you’re done watching porn and you’ve finished
“laying the smackdown” on yourself, you are left with
more than just sticky hands and wadded up kleenex.

You are left with images BURNED into your mind.
You can go to internet explorer and hit “CLEAR HISTORY”…
You can locate your Limewire folders and delete all your videos…
You can even throw out all your Playboy mags and hardcore xxx tapes…
Regardless, the images will still haunt you.

When you’re having a simple conversation with a close female friend,
you begin to imagine THEIR FACE on the bodies of your favorite
porn stars. You don’t mean to, but “you can’t help it.”

It becomes harder to stay faithful to your girlfriend/wife.
It becomes harder to concentrate when you’re around women.
You begin to think you’re “in love” when you’re actually just horny.

This MIGHT seem like a joke for you, but if you’re seriously struggling
with porn, and find yourself watching it everyday, check out this website:

…com/albums/c248/questloveblog/xxxchurch.jpg”>

Women are great liars. As good as they are at lying to
others, they are even better at lying to themselves.

STUPID LIES GIRLS SAY:

“I can’t help it! I’m in love!”

“I can change him!”

“But he needs me!”

DESPERATE HOUSE LIES:

“If you really love me, you won’t leave me!”

“If you breakup with me, I’ll kill myself!”

“If you leave me, I’ll hurt you!”

“I’m pregnant!”

* * *

Some of us take our HEART BREAKS to another level by immediately
hooking up with another person after we just broke up. This is our
desperate attempt to get our ex jealous OR to forget the pain.

This explains why SOME people get addicted to clubbing,
partying, drinking, and getting high. They’re NOT trying
to “just have fun”…

THEY ARE DESPERATELY AVOIDING REALITY.
THEY ARE RUNNING FROM THE PAIN OF THEIR PAST.

LADIES and GENTLEMEN, this is not love.
This is infatuation. Love does NOT make you do STUPID things.
Love is a commitment to do what’s BEST for another person.
(Even if that means breaking up with them)

ANSWER THIS QUESTION HONESTLY:
Have you ever thought you were “IN LOVE,”
but later realized you were lying to yourself?
If you have… could it be that maybe…
JUST MAYBE, you might be wrong right now?

* * *

WHAT IS LOVE?
“Whoever is without Love does not know God,
for GOD IS LOVE!” –1 John 4:8

If God is Love… Then why is he hardly
the center of most of our relationships?

If God is Love…
Then why not ask HIM for advice
when it comes to understanding what TRUE Love is?
Going to anyone else is like going to a Honda
Dealership for a Volkswagen part.

MYTH: All men are jerks!

TRUTH: Anyone who believes this statement is an idiot.
There are plenty of great guys all around. These are the
guys who comfort you when jerks break your heart.
Theyre the ones who dont always tell you what you
want to hear, but what you need to hear.

* * *

WORD OF THE DAY:
incentive. Something, such as the fear of punishment or
the expectation of reward, that induces action or motivates effort.

* * *

FUN FACT: BOYS follow incentives.

If you date a boy while hes still a boy, guess what?
He’ll stay a boy. This is because you REWARD HIM
before he has a chance to grow up.

BUT if you make a boy WAIT and become a MAN before
he can date you, this will eliminate the odds of you dating a jerk!
Believe it or NOT, guys who are made to WAIT are far more likely
to be faithful to you, than the average guy!

* * *

If any of you “NICE GUYS” are reading this blog, and you can RELATE to
what I’m saying, then here’s some words of encouragement for you:

“Nice guys DON’T finish last.
They LAST to the finish.”

If a girl passes you up because she wants to date a GUY
that her girlfriends think is cuter, then it’s HER LOSS.

DON’T rush into random relationships in hopes of eventually finding
the right person! BE PATIENT. Let God write your love story.

See. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a LOVE STORY filled
with twists and turns, than a bunch of failed relationships full of
MISTAKES, LIES, and DECEIT!

So…
SLOW DOWN people.
Let Go and Let God!

* * *

MY ADVICE: “Don’t date someone unless you consider marrying them.”

“WHAT?!? BeeJay!!!
Have you lost your mind??”

Let’s sit and think about it. When you date someone, YOU might think it’s
“just for fun,” but there’s no way of predicting FEELINGS that might
eventually grow. What if you FALL for someone, and they don’t fall
for you? Who gets hurt?

What if you date someone for fun, sex, and scamming,
and they end up falling for you? Now they’re the one who gets hurt?

In other words,
make sure you choose carefully who you date because FEELINGS
are involved. If you play with feelings, you can REALLY hurt someone.
In fact, some of you are STILL hurt because of a few people you’ve dated.
So take dating seriously. PLEASE.

MY ADVICE: Don’t “play” hard to get. BE hard to get!

Having a great “LOVE LIFE”
means MORE than finding the right person.
You also have to BE the right person!

* * *

Sex is good. Real good. Even God said it was good!
BUT there is one condition: GET MARRIED FIRST.

BEFORE you label me old fashioned or boring, here are a few
statistics I’ve learned from psychology and science journals!

Teens and young adults
who have premarital sex
are FAR more likely to:

Get divorced
Become suicidal
Go into depression
Be unfaithful during marriage
Have severe marital problems

Teens and young adults who
get pregnant before marriage
are FAR more likely to:

Not finish college
Have an abortion
Go into poverty

These statistics are NOT meant to discourage you.
These statistics are here to HELP YOU understand that
ALTHOUGH GOD CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS,
HE WON’T HEAL ALL SCARS.

God allows SCARS to remain NOT because he hates you,
BUT to remind you that foolish actions DO have consequences.

* * *

SEX IS LIKE DUCT TAPE.

The first time you stick duct tape on someone, it REALLY sticks.
The next time you do it, it’s not as sticky. The more you do it, the
less sticky it becomes. In other words, the more sex you have with
different partners, the HARDER it is to commit. Eventually, you won’t
even be able to feel any LOVE or PASSION towards your partner(s).
It will become an empty, emotionless act.

What is the REASON for sex?
Some of you will say “pleasure.”

But is that it? How about eating? EATING feels pleasurable?
Is that the REASON we eat? NO. We eat because it helps sustain
life and health. Likewise, we must understand that sex is not just
for pleasure. Sex also CREATES LIFE. This is why sex is
considered so sacred. This is why sex is NOT to be abused.

FUN FACT: Of all our bodily functions
(digesting, sleeping, breathing, etc),
CREATING A CHILD is the only bodily
function that requires TWO people.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA QUOTE:
“Shouldn’t we test drive the ‘vehicle’ before we drive it off the lot?”
(Christina comparing premarital sex to test driving a car)

Okay. Let’s pretend you find a great “sex partner.”
You decide to marry them, BUT one day, they get
into a terrible accident and they can no longer
have sex. Would you divorce them?

JEFF FOXWORTHY QUOTE:
“Getting married to have sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts!”

Marriage is about more than just sex. It is a commitment to be there
for your spouse through sickness and in health, for better or for worse,
till death do you part. It is the coming of two souls to become one.

* * *

OLD MESSAGE FROM A FRIEND

Hey BeeJay! I’d like to share these verses
recited at my Wedding ceremony:

“My husband and I knew we were ready for the
commitment of marriage when we were BOTH
able to insert each of our names
in place of the word ‘LOVE‘.

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

Love does not demand its own way.

is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.

Love is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,

And endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever…“

–1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8

* * *

©2005 Brendon James, Inc. All Rights Reserved.